This mutant viewing was done over IM, across three nations and two hemispheres simultaneously. God bless the internet.
Alex: Well, are we ready to dive into Malkovich’s head? I’m ready.
Justin: The curtain intro reminds me of Moulin Rouge a bit.
Rich: Yeah, kinda – I hadn’t thought about that – they’re not the most similar of films…
Justin: No… but I just dig the puppetry here… freaky in its movements
Alex: The doll’s hair reminds me of most depictions of Christ.
Rich: It’s amazing expression they can get out of those puppets – it’s pretty masterful.
Alex: It’s so excellent.
Justin: Wonder why those strings don’t get tangled?
Alex: Makes you wonder why no one actually does this sort of thing, or if they do, why it isn’t more popular.
Rich: Of course, I’m sure Alex would actually prefer to see the real John Cusack doing naked ballet around his apartment to start this film.
Alex: Hey, I wouldn’t be complaining. Clare should be here now…
Justin: Yeah she should… Hmm… the English major in me wonders if there’s some connection between puppetry and the theme of being a puppet master, puppeteering inside someone’s head.
Alex: Who can talk like that so early after waking up?
Justin: This is the most icky both people have looked… I think both Cusack and Diaz just came into work looking how they normally do, with no makeup.
Alex: The English major in me is giving a nod to your inner English major.
Rich: Absolutely. I remember watching this for the first time and not even realising it was Diaz for half an hour.
Alex: It’s the Attack of the 50ft Nicole Kidman!
Justin: John Cusack looks like John Romero here, doesn’t he Rich?
Rich: Very much so – I think it’s the glasses that do it.
Justin: Heh. Daikatana. Idiot.
Rich: *chuckle* Any time now a mod of rabid gamers are gonna lynch him….
Justin: This is still more clean than most Shakespeare… dirty old man.
Alex: Heheh…. I adore the little girl’s expression, watching this….
Justin: Is that puppet making love to the wall? I mean, cause it looks like that.
Rich: One of my old English teachers used to take great pleasure in explaining all the grotty parts of the Shakespeare plays we were reading…
Justin: “Not again” hahaha… Grotty?
Alex: His middle name is pathos…
Rich: You know, like the elderly Capulets speach in the party in R&J, when he’s talking about…’young girls’.
Justin: I know we’re at the beginning of the film here, but I just want to state for the record that the end of this flick kinda really creeps me out. BJM could’ve gone with a lighter tone, or a way dark one, and instead managed to straddle the line almost perfectly.
Alex: I wish I’d had more English teachers like that…. as was, I only had one, who treated us to more interesting interpretations of the middle english in the Canterbury Tales. That’s such a great weird concept.
Rich: I love the idea of the 7 1/2 floor. It sets the surreal tone of the film immediately.
Justin: Good old floor 7 1/2… Harry Potter’s train station has nothing on this.
Alex: Mini-Me would feel right at home.
Justin: The floor is all miniaturized, kinda like the puppet stages.
Alex: You’re going all term papery on us, J…
Rich: I truly wish I could hire a receptionist like that.
Justin: I’d get so claustrophobic on that floor. What town is this supposed to be?
Rich: Chicago, I think. One of my favourite interview questions coming up. I’d love to use this question if I ever get to interview someone for a job.
Alex: LOL… speech impediment.
Justin: Tricksey, these people.
Alex: Like hobittses!
Rich: Working here would do my poor back no good, let me tell you.
Justin: I’d just scoot around in an office chair, or get a wheelchair. I can’t envision a scenario where someone thought of the story to this film, but I really have to imagine that it was based off a dream of some sort. They should’ve gotten some midgets to do the infomercial for the 7 1/2 floor.
Rich: MMMMMMMAxine!!!
Alex: Where ye and yer accursed kind can live in peace… heheh.
Rich: Such a beautiful love story, between midget girl and Irish sea captain.
Justin: Wow, this video has horrible production values… reminds me of the BBC for some reason.
Alex: Great outfit.
Justin: “Cursed kind”… I’m using that this week.
Rich: It reminds me of the videos we use at the University. Yeah, she’s hawt.
Alex: Scary thing…. I know people like them, keeping entire menageries in their small homes.
Rich: Isn’t there some screen adage about not working with children or animals? Poor Cusack/Diaz…
Justin: “Hi! I’m the tragic fall guy! And you must be the heartless wench who gets away with it all!” The lighting in their apartment is sooo bad… All apartments should come with a monkey on the sink.
Rich: “Tragic Fall Guy”? Read “Idiot unable to deal with the real world.”
Alex: I love how Cusack and Diaz are depicted so scuzzily in their appearances… It’s so… normal, and not at all.
Justin: Dude, just give her a baby, then she’ll stop taking in animals for compensation. Johnnie doesn’t need any lines to get into someone’s pants that I know.
Alex: Okay, I am so Flores.
Rich: I have no idea what you’re typing, Alex…
Justin: She has her doctorate in Typing Impedimentology.
Alex: ? heheh
Rich: Oh, disturbing…
Alex: I wouldn’t mind being alphabetized either…
Justin: Product placement for carrot juice!
Alex: Hehe, Ooh yea. That sounds delicious, AND nutricious.
Justin: HAHAHAHA I’m telling my grandma that she’s my “link with history” and has something still to offer! The old guy is me in about fifty years.
Rich: This is the best way to guess a girl’s name – I think she wants him now.
Alex: Baaarrrroooooobbeeeelloooooogggaaarlllaaaatterrrrrssuuuuuuusssshieeeemmmmaaaaaszzeeeee
Justin: She’s evil and he’s an idiot… this ain’t gonna be pretty.
Alex: I can’t help it that Lester and I share common thought patterns.
Rich: Talking to Doctor Lester would be the most disturbing experience of my existence, I believe.
Justin: Loads of dark lighting in here.
Alex: What kind of guy orders a light beer? Rich? Any thoughts?
Rich: You know, I just can’t help feeling bad for John.
Justin: Man I hate her.
Alex: She is hateable. Damn good portrayal.
Justin: Dog boy. Woof.
Rich: “I’nm a puppeteer…” “check”
Justin: Cameron, get your hands off John’s monkey!
Rich: Ew – monkey cooties!
Alex: That’s just gross. Makes you wonder what else she shares with the monkeys.
Rich: You need to get your mind seriously out of the gutter, Lexi.
Alex: It’d be easier if it didn’t keep getting shoved in there by you guys… heh.
Justin: You couldn’t pay me to sleep in that apartment… I’d hate to wake up with something strange on my face.
Rich: Sounds like an average Saturday night for me… oh wait, did I type that or just think it?
Justin: This mutant viewing is rated “R” for brief scenes of nudity, violent uses of bad puns, and disturbing images of violence against monkeys.
Rich: Now I can’t feel sorry for Craig; he’s a creep. Maxine might not be the nicest girl on Earth, but jeez…
Justin: I feel sorry for him… He seems like a product of his environment instead of a guy who’s honestly had options to make his life better.
Alex: Puppet Infidelity is a very serious marital issue.
Justin: Lots of guys I know play with dolls. But they call them “action figures.”
Rich: *ducks*
Alex: Hehehe
Rich: OK – now lets go from ‘creepy and tragic’ to ‘totally out of your mind’ in one easy step.
Alex: Calls into question the idea of Fate, or Happenstance…
Rich: This commentary is a strange mixture of serious film commentary and terrible punning. Some day, all DVD commentaries will be this way…
Alex: That’s what we excel at, isn’t it?
Justin: The door behind the cabinets reminds me of the attic doors of my grandparents house in New Jersey… And we all know that if you find a strange door in movies, you’re overwhelmingly compelled to got through it.
Alex: A little Alice In Wonderland action, here.
Rich: Honestly, if I found that where I worked, I would stay away and call pest control… we get some BIG rats.
Justin: You guys do have a severe rat problem in England, I know I’ve read about it.
Alex: Oooh, is *that* why they’re importing cats from Greece?
Justin: So is that Malkie’s ear canal he goes through? Cause it’s all sticky on the floor… ear wax…
Rich: I think later on that we find out it’s something like that.
Justin: It’s been a few years since I’ve seen this.
Alex: Same here… it’s like watching a new movie, almost. I have to wonder how much of these actions are actually provided accurately by JM himself…
Rich: Almost all of it, apparently – I read an interview where he said he really enjoyed doing these bits.
Justin: Wonder how they did the mirror thing without showing the camera… clever.
Alex: The voices are done really well…. Think about how you hear your own voice when you’re talking to someone else…
Rich: I love the way it just randomly deposits you on the edge of the Jersey turnpike as well.
Justin: The stereo effect of JM talking comes through muffled in both speakers like you’re right in his head… cool.
Alex: And just… where exactly do you fall from when you get ejected from someone’s head?
Justin: Ah NYC, not Chicago.
Alex: LOL… That Jewel Thief movie…
Rich: “Lots of things, that Jewel Thief movie for example” I keep forgetting all the great lines in this film.
Justin: BJM as a fairy tale in modern settings… the abuse of magical power, the evil witch…
Rich: Erk – also, the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg as well.
Justin: Did she just tell him in a motion to jump over the railing to his death?
Rich: And again, a nice commentary on humanity; the first instinct of the ‘powerful’ is to exploit anything new for personal gain.
Alex: And his desperation for greatness overriding his recognition of the important things in life, like Diaz, who actually loves him.
Justin: I don’t think she does love him. ARGH! She’s so evil! Evil! I want to spray her with anti-evil spray and watch her bubble and melt down the drain crying “What a world… what a world!”
Rich: But she’s not; she’s not evil, just selfish.
Justin: Maxine? Maxine is evil.
Alex: Deeply deeply selfish.
Rich: Diaz doesn’t love him.
Justin: Diaz is selfish. But… then so is Johnny.
Alex: She becomes self-obsessed after she meets Maxine. Ah, a Strange Days moment, almost. In reverse.
Rich: Really, I think Maxine is the smost honest of the 3 characters. She never disguises her motives to anyone. Lotte and Craig are lying both to themselves and to each other.
Justin: Don’t show us JM’s willy! Please! Cover up your shame, man!
Rich: lol willy lol
Justin: So… you can feel sexy toweling off?
Rich: I feel sexy all the time, baby. Towelling is just an added bonus.
Alex: Why don’t you guys tell me?
Justin: Well… it’s not that exciting… Maybe if you’re Malkie, but generally the feeling is “getting less wet” instead of “brink of orgasm.”
Alex: The Fifth door, on my left.
Rich: Come on, Diaz – 5th door on the left is not that hard… you nosy person you.
Justin: Loads of doors in this movie.
Rich: Also all these are apparently Malkoviches personal photos.
Justin: We should’ve kept count how many times someone said Malkie’s name in this film.
Alex: You’d think that a persona as strong and independent as JM would be too difficult to take over by someone like Johnnie or Diaz.
Justin: Ah, I think it’s just a facade, he’s a big softy in real life.
Rich: Whoa – blatant genetalia talk from Diaz – how often will you seee that in a film again I wonder?
Justin: So… she just called Malkie a hermaphrodite?
Rich: I think so; either that, or had a profound revelation about her sexuality.
Alex: JM Inc…. brilliant. Yeps… and used the V word at least three times.
Justin: John, no girl is worth making such a fool out of yourself for.
Rich: The fact that Maxine is loving this really makes me chuckle.
Alex: Great lines, again. She’s in Luuuuuuuv!
Justin: Yeah, this movie is a lot more quotable than I remember.
Alex: Again…. are we seeing the *real* JM?
Rich: Apparently, not. John said he is playing a caricature of himself…. He’s listed in the credits as John ‘Horatio’ Malkovich; which isn’t his real middle name.
Alex: General Malkovich, sir?
Rich: And Lotte begins to influence Malkovich’s thinking….
Justin: Wow… John Cusack just gets all sorts of emasculated in this film.
Rich: It’s the guy from Things To Do In Denver…
Alex: That’s what’s got me wondering.
Rich: Yeah; he immediately loses control to the women in his life.
Justin: Actually both of them get undercut by the women… Malkie is manipulated by both of the girls from within, and Johnnie is used and discarded hard.
Alex: Ew… what a pity remark.
Justin: I think they’re really racking up the toll fares for being out on the turnpike this much.
Rich: Bizarre infidelity guilt from Lotte there when she won’t tell Craig what Malkovich was doing.
Alex: “Probably the least intriguing thing about me…” They are both cheating on each other wanting Maxine. “I won’t fit in Malkovich!”
Justin: Does that make Maxine the most honorable character, in that she’s not cheating?
Rich: Like I said – she’s the most honest of the 3.
Justin: Most honest, not most honorable then.
Rich: She never disguises her motives to any of the other characters.
Justin: This is actually a good business idea… if they had just stuck with it they would’ve made a fortune.
Alex: I do agree with the earlier comment that she is most honorable in never denying her true intentions, obsession takes over.
Justin: My life is more exciting than Malkie’s…
Rich: Mmmm – I have a hankering for Chinese food now.
Justin: Don’t get Alex started. She’ll start singing about wasabi and then it’ll all be over. So is Diaz wearing a wig, I hope?
Alex: Wrong cuisine darlin’. Nope, they actually traumatized her hair to get that effect… Electrocution.
Rich: I love that Lotti is so blatantly flirting with Maxine.
Justin: Maxine has horse teeth. Just say neigh.
Alex: Ah, the doobie scene.
Rich: This is an important speech.
Justin: Thank you, Professor Richard.
Alex: They are both so enamoured of her.
Rich: My pleasure, students. Want me to spell it out for you, or want to figure it out for yourself?
Justin: Oh, please do Rich. Okay, if I was Johnnie, I would just bail, move away and start over… he’s not gonna win… and if I was Lottie, I’d smother Maxine with a pillow. “Feminine Longing”… do they sell that on the aisle with the maxi-pads Alex?
Rich: Both are now crushed, but at least Lotte has a hope by creating the Most Dysfunctional Relationship ever.
Justin: Haha… I just remembered this won our “most messed up relationship” award.
Alex: Ah yes… Well deserved it was.
Rich: I mean, it’s pretty hard to compete. There are family trees in Arkansas less messed up than this.
Justin: So, who is our real hero here? We’re left with Malkie, the least dishonest, least dispicable, least idiotic of the four.
Alex: It’s messed up that he actually *said* “Shall we to the boudoir?” I’m rooting for JM.
Rich: Malkovich is, I guess – or Dr. Lester – take your pick.
Justin: Lester does rock. She’s bizarre. I’d be freaked out if a girl started charging at me like that
Rich: “Did you call me Lotte”, “Do you mind?”, “Not really…”
Alex: And Lottie thinks this is “so right.” Who’s got Penis Envy now? (argh.)
Rich: 15 minutes? Wow, Malkovich must not have much ‘action’ in his normal life…
Justin: Hey, 15 minutes is a marathon. You just know this movie spurred on some odd-as-heck sexual subgroup to take root on the internet… one of those fantasy groups that have turn-ons in things that they can never achieve, like being inside someone’s body and then having sex with someone else.
Alex: The Maxine Action Figure.
Justin: It’s a doll! Not an action figure!
Rich: Sadly, there are no perversions which don’t have a support group on the internet, I guess.
Justin: The music is so moody… creepy moody.
Alex: The music is fabulous, all the way through. Craigy. I hate her.
Rich: That’s it – snapping time.
Justin: Yes, she IS evil! About darn time you said that!
Rich: WHY? Don’t hate Maxine – it’s Craig doing this to himself. If he had any sense of realism this wouldn’t be a problem.
Alex: About time he realized it for himself…
Justin: And you know what you do with evil, Johnny? You get the hacksaw and you have a bout of “temporary insanity”!
Alex: They’ve got what’s known as “issues”… For more information, please contact your local psychologist.
Rich: These guys are a psychiatrist’s wet dream.
Justin: Maxine is heartless… yes, Craig is pathetic, but she honestly doesn’t care, she doesn’t care that she hurts him and she’s not much better with Lottie.
Rich: Lottie and Craig are both torn by their obsession – but Maxine is in love with the power she gets from Malkovich/Lotte – no-one gets out of this without scars.
Alex: Lottie is just as desperate as Craig….she’s just twisted in another direction….
Rich: Richard IIII
Justin: I like how they save some of the twists, the explanations towards the end… this movie doesn’t show all its cards up front.
Alex: One of my favorite scenes… Another great line. It’s really well done.
Rich: Is this Charlie Sheen cameo one?
Justin: I really forgot how dark this movie was… in my mind there were a lot more flowers and dancing elves. She’s KISSING the MONKeY!!!
Rich: I love Charlie Sheen in this film.
Alex: He’s great. And in comparison to a movie like Adaptation, it stands even higher. Sheen is fantastic.
Justin: Sheen’s got the ‘burns going.
Alex: Hot Lesbian Witches…
Rich: “Hot Lesbian Witches – think about it…”
Alex: Come across that title in your Video Store days, J?
Rich: Oh – classic role reversal; the celebrity stalking the ‘normal’ woman…
Alex: It’s great how they actually address all the messed up questions that people have as they get further into the concept here…
Justin: They all look like hunchbacks on the 7 1/2 floor… and wasn’t Malkie playing a hunchback in the play? I know, weak connection.
Alex: What *does* actually happen if Malkovich goes into his own head?
Rich: Yes, Richard III is the classic film hunchback.
Alex: I’m really behind on all the classical refs and whatnot.
Justin: That’s your field babe, I just vacation there.
Rich: Now, this is where my brain justr dribbles out of my ears for 5 minutes… Scary, scary stuff coming up.
Alex: Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
Justin: This film is really like someone’s dream.
Alex: Gotta admire, in a way, the devil-may care attitude from Max.
Justin: Wonder if more people have doors leading to their heads?
Rich: Too coherant to be any of my dreams. OK, now I’m disturbed!!!!
Alex: What *is* the reasoning here…
Rich: I’d love one of those menus that just says ‘Malkovich’ on it all over.
Justin: Malkie with boobs… wow.
Rich: Kinda reminds me of you, J.
Alex: He goes into his own head… physically…?
Justin: Thanks Rich. His mind has folded over on itself… It’s a mirror.
Alex: lol…. I held myself back for so long.
Rich: I’d love to be at that Trial…
Alex: It’s my head, Schwartz, it’s my HEAD! Lottie’s got a point there, with the 10 ft. pole thing.
Justin: Hehe how did the guy driving know that that was Malkie… in the dark, from behind?
Rich: He’s a veteran of the Malkovich ride — he recognises the way he walks. Try hard enough, you can justify anything.
Alex: “Yeah, just let me out of the cage so I can hurt you back…” Craziness.
Justin: So what’s the point of the monkey’s POV?
Rich: How many films have monkey flashback sequences, I wonder?
Justin: Not too many, Rich. But every film could use one.
Rich: I think it’s what encourages the monkey to untie Lotte.
Alex: LOL… I totally forgot about this! Yep… it sure would have livened up The Piano some…
Justin: Or Powder. Man, I loathe that movie.
Alex: Maxine begins to see the new possibilities. Love? That’s a tool to her.
Justin: Maxine isn’t in love, she’s just all out for herself… if using Lottie makes her happier, then great, she simulates love.
Rich: Precisely; but she’s always blatantly honest with people. Her morals suck, but her methods at least are clear.
Justin: An honest thief is still a thief.
Alex: Back to square -1 for Lottie. Heheh…
Justin: Malkie doesn’t want to eat a sex omolette?
Alex: That is kinda funny, in a very perverse sort of way.
Rich: This film brilliantly flip-clops between comedy and tragedy.
Justin: I think this movie gets a heck of a lot more enjoyable when you just finally give up on the dysfunctional trio and enjoy Malkie for who and what he is.
Rich: Even though it’s completely disfunctional and everyone is screwed, you can’t help but laugh.
Alex: And it’s so scrumptiously weird.
Justin: Like a little crumpet.
Rich: Are crumpets weird?
Justin: We’re all caught up in the explanations here.
Alex: Odd, how they got people to publish these books…
Rich: Yep; the brilliantly surreal yet logic exposition is truly amazing.
Justin: Watch out, that hammer of foreshadowing is about to hit you.
Rich: No — not foreshadowing!!!
Alex: Bang & Olufsen product placement.
Justin: Alex, as a girl, if you met a guy who could do puppeteering like that, would you be impressed or repulsed?
Alex: hahah
Rich: Some women will say anything to avoid sex…”Do a puppet show for me”
Alex: Danes will one day rule the world!! Nice re-enactment of the first scene. That’s some gut Malkie’s got started there.
Rich: Yep — John Malkovich deserves a big medal for being willing to make such a jackass of himself.
Alex: Ah, Dervish dancing… I love it. Malkie revolting against Craig is great.
Justin: I’m laughing at Malkie spazzing out over the two of them taking over his life.
Rich: Yeah, every times something they say is against Malkovich’s best interests, it really funny.
Alex: She’s rubbing off on him in all the wrong ways.
Justin: “He gets acting work occasionally”
Rich: That’s a classic line
Justin: I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have a penis and be bald…
Alex: The C*** of Reception? Are agents really like this?
Rich: My agent never says that. Oh, I don’t have an agent.
Alex: I know mine doesn’t…
Justin: That’s just such an awkward name to call someone. You know he’s proud of having thought it up.
Alex: Cue evil laughter.
Rich: Pregnant Maxine — who would have thunk it.
Alex: Arrrgh, his hair!
Rich: Dangerous Liasons — great film.
Justin: So, do all those people just stay in that room and live there until their next jump into a new vessel?
Rich: I guess.
Alex: Ah, the autobiographical puppet-show…
Justin: Wow, Andy Dick must’ve paid THEM to appear as a cameo. Topogigo?
Alex: Went over my head…
Rich: And mine.
Justin: And if the three of us don’t know what it means, it doesn’t exist.
Alex: Wife and manager… Horrible dress. Great coat.
Justin: She’s like a giant explosion of lace.
Rich: Brad Pitt in world funniest no-line cameo.
Justin: He had a great look.
Alex: (obligatory costume commentary) Aw, little Lottie doll.
Rich: Oh, irony; Maxine really DID love Lottie… or did she…
Justin: She loved Lottie, but she loved herself and her own advancement more. She only will be with Lottie if the two coincide.
Alex: I concur. Dr., Do you concur?
Rich: Sounds reasonable.
Justin: Ah, you’re supposed to say I concur back.
Rich: Really? Darn my lack of injokeitude!
Justin: A line from Hot Shots! comes to mind: “When I look at all of you I think to myself, what I wouldn’t give to be 20 years younger… and a woman”
Alex: Is that a real puppet? I mean, actually.
Justin: A real person being manipulated.
Rich: If it’s not, I’d hate to be the guy in the all-wooden suit.
Alex: Exactly what I was thinking. That’s such a cool idea though. The visuals are so strong throughout the whole film…
Rich: This is so twisted, even I don’t know what the right thing for any of the characters to do is any more.
Alex: It’s amazing.
Justin: I wouldn’t leave if I was him. He’s dug his Malkie-shaped hole, he should stay in it.
Rich: Great Love/Hate conflict in Lottie’s face there.
Justin: Mmm instant oatmeal break.
Alex: Nope… why doesn’t he get it by now? He admitted it himself that he knew Maxine would have nothing to do with him if he weren’t Malkie.
Rich: This is just great — the camerawork here is fantastic.
Alex: This is great too… better than the Malk in Malk’s own head scene.
Justin: This movie just going from wacky to ludicrous to insane and back. So why is Lottie trying to kill Maxine?
Alex: Jealous rage. What happens if Lottie shoots one of the Subconscious inhabitants?
Rich: All these questions must be answered — but I got nothing.
Justin: You know what this sequence reminds me of… that one painting by McEscher.
Alex: Good for you Lottie! Lottie’s the father…
Rich: OK, this is so far out of my experience, I give up.
Justin: I… AM… YOUR FATHER!
Rich: You know, when a chick says that, that’s gonna scar you for LIFE.
Alex: This is where Craig loses it. Isn’t it?
Justin: You know why I love this movie? It’s because it makes any of my past relationships, no matter how messed-up they were, seem downright mundane and normal.
Rich: Yep.
Justin: None of my girlfriends have dumped me for a girl they impregnated while in the host body of a celebrity.
Rich: Yeah, that never happened to me, either. Well, apart from that one time.
Justin: Well, the day is young.
Alex: Well, there was that one time with this girl I met at college… I’m not quick enough when I’m this caught up in the movie…
Rich: Poor JM — thats the last chance he gets to be himself. Thats really sad.
Alex: Poor Malkie.
Justin: We’re all getting caught up in it… we need a less serious and deep flick for our next viewing.
Alex: “I can see! *smack* Oh wait, I was wrong….”
Justin: And ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Cocoon.
Rich: And in the end, everyone’s happy except for Craig. Lotte and Maxine have each other; Lester and his guys have Malkovich, and Craig loses everything.
Justin: Well, I imagine Malkie isn’t too thrilled.
Rich: Good point.
Justin: Now that he’s a schitzo for life.
Rich: Notice that Craig has got the wooden plank he took into Malkovich’s head the first time. Oh — Old Charlie Sheen and John Malkovich rule.
Alex: LOL… nice head on Sheen. Malkatraz…
Rich: Ma-sheen.
Justin: What a forehead on Sheen.
Rich: I love the way Gary Sinese gets a mention.
Alex: What happens to your personal identity when you’ve been through enough vessels?
Justin: Note to Charlie Sheen: Don’t rely heavily on the combover in your old age.
Rich: OK, now that’s an Oedipus complex that no-one needs.
Justin: So, will all the old people reappear, or are they all just one person now?
Alex: Thank you Spike… that was a real pleasure.
Rich: All the old people are ‘living’ together in Malkovich’s head I think — like Herman’s Head writ large.
Alex: lol… That was a good show… It’s like one of those Russian nesting dolls…
Justin: So… straighten me out… Johnnie went BACK into the tunnel, but too late. I thought they showed it, but I didn’t see it here.
Rich: Correct, and got dumped into the body of ‘his’ child, but into her subconscious, where he now watches mutely.
Alex: Yeah, I seem to remember seeing it when I watched it in the theatre.
Justin: I understand what happened, I just thought they showed Craig going back… and they never show him after being on the turnpike. Implied instead of shown.
Alex: Credited as Girl Creeped Out By Malkovich.
Rich: A nice bit of Bjork here – isn’t she Danish, Lexi?
Alex: You’re going to force me to go get my spear, aren’t you Justin?
Justin: That was Rich.
Alex: Ack.
Justin: Rich is not Justin. For future reference, please keep the two separate in your head.
Rich: No it wasn’t — blame him. It was Justin inside my head, telling me to type that.
Alex: Justin, I really like you, but in Rich’s body, okay?
Justin: Oh, as long as I can call you Lottie and make Rich dance like an idiot in a skirt.
Alex: Do I have a problem with that? … Nah….
Rich: Hey, sounds like a normal Saturday night for me… did I just type that AGAIN…?
Justin: For the record: I don’t like Bjork.
Alex: Me neither.
Rich: Really; I think she’s either fantastic or rubbish.
Justin: And that swan dress at the Oscars didn’t work to sway me back toward her.
Alex: I can listen to it, but I eventually find it to annoying.
Justin: It just sounds like a song that someone is making up as they go. I can do that, ask my dog.
Rich: Hey, Caeser…
Justin: “Malkovich Malkovich Lounge Music” as one of the songs in the credits.
Alex: Yeah, I caught that too.
Mutant Reviewers 