10 Supposedly Sympathetic Movie & TV Characters Who Were Actually Just Jerks

 

val-kilmer-top-gun-2In movies and television sometimes you get a morally ambiguous character whose journey is a fascinating deconstruction of the heroes’ journey, taking them on a path of redemption or damnation. Characters like Avatar’s Prince Zuko or Walter White come to mind; characters who moral ambiguity serves to shine a light into our own motivations and morality, giving us insight into the human condition.

–And then there are these turds.

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Mike Does The Breakfast Club

“When you grow up, your heart dies.”MV5BOTM5N2ZmZTMtNjlmOS00YzlkLTk3YjEtNTU1ZmQ5OTdhODZhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,639,1000_AL_

The Scoop: 1985, Written and directed by John Hughes, Starring a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal.

Tagline: Five strangers with nothing in common, except each other.

Summary Capsule: Five teenagers from different cliques and backgrounds actually show up for detention on a Saturday.

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Mike’s Rating: Five out of five Neo-maxie zoom dweebies. (Extra points for the metal-head’s correct usage of the words “demented” and “condescend”).

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Mike does I Kill Giants

“I find giants. I hunt giants. I *kill* giants.”i-kill-giants

The Scoop: 2017, Directed by Anders Walter, written by Joe Kelly (based on his graphic novel) Starring: Madison Wolfe, Zoe Saldana and Imogen Poots

Tagline: A young girl. A terrifying giant. We’re Stronger than we think.

Summary Capsule: A girl battles her internal monsters by battling external monsters

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Mike’s Rating: Your name is “Thorson” and your war-hammer *isn’t* called Mjolnir?

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Mike does Ready Player One

“Welcome to the rebellion, Wade.”617op+pmgtL._SY450_

The Scoop: 2018, PG Directed by Steven Spielberg, Written by Ernest Cline & Zak Penn, Starring Baby Cyclops, Birthmark-face and That Guy who gets choked by Darth Vader in Rogue One.

Tagline: An adventure too big for the real world.

Summary Capsule: Legendary filmmaker and lifelong geek adapts a fellow lifelong geek’s bestselling love-letter to geek pop culture; geeks everywhere act like they’re too good for it.

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Mike’s Rating: Four out of five Galaxy Rangers teaming up with the Centurions to fight the Inhumanoids on Eternia to the tune of “You’ve got the Touch” by Stan Bush

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AVENGERS INFINITY WAR VLOG

Hey there, y’all! This comes a little late, since the video in question has actually been up for about a week, but whatever – it’s still an improvement on my recent track record. Without further ado, here’s my take on the much-talked-about latest Marvel movie:

The Captain Marvel video I mention was one I posted on here a while back; if you’d like to refresh your memory (or just haven’t seen it yet), here’s a link that’ll take you right to it:

https://mutantreviewers.wordpress.com/2015/03/13/captain-marvel-movie-vlog/

And so long as we’re posting links anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve linked to my YouTube page, so here, let’s do that, too:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeezda04oUpl1JG-4Y7LayA/videos

There, that should cover everything. Hope you enjoyed, and I’ll be posting more stuff real soon!

SUPER BACKLOG MOVIE REVIEW VLOG MEGAPOST

Hey there, folks, guess what? I went and saw Black Panther recently. Yes sir, that movie that everyone’s still talking about, I went and saw it. And I made a vlog about it. And I’m gonna post it – here, for your enjoyment.

Isn’t that nice?

But before I do that, there’s some other stuff I should post first. More specifically, there are more movie vlogs I’ve made – lots more – that haven’t been posted here. I’ve been meaning to for a long time now, and I’ve kept putting it off, and finally I said to myself – ‘Deneb,’ I said sternly, ‘you cannot add even one more video to this backlog. If you ever want to show your face on Mutant Reviewers again, you have got to post those freakin’ vlogs. Stop being so lazy and just do it!’

So I did. And here, in reverse order from most to least recent, they are:

I can make no real excuse for getting so far behind on things – that is, I can; I can make lots of excuses. I could tell you that I was distracted, I could tell you that I was tired and didn’t feel like it, I could tell you that I honestly wasn’t aware that so many videos were piling up – and they’d all be true, but none of them really hold water. Let’s just say that life got in the way, and I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t do so to this extent again. Sorry, guys.

Right, so – all’s well that ends well, and this lot should hopefully keep you entertained over the weekend. I’ll post the Black Panther review on Monday. Enjoy!