Megareview: Critters

220px-Crittersposter“Food!”

The Scoop: 1986 PG-13, directed by Stephen Herek and starring Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, and Billy Zane

Tagline: They eat so fast, you don’t have time to scream!

Summary Capsule: Carniverous alien criminals crash-land in a farming town on Earth

Continue reading

Advertisements

Yeti does They Came Together

“But what they’re doing now isn’t communism, it’s totalitarianism TCT-poster-2013-12-18dressed up as communism.” 

The Scoop: 2014 R, directed by David Wain and starring Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, and Bill Hader

Tagline: He came…she came…they both came

Summary Capsule: David Wain and Company take the fight to romantic comedies everywhere

Continue reading

Yeti does Brother Bear

bb“You left too soon, Sitka. Your brothers need your guidance.” 

The Scoop: 2003 G, directed by Aaron Blaise and Robert Walker and starring Joaquin Phoenix, Jeremy Suarez, and Rick Moranis

Tagline: The story of a boy who became a man by becoming a bear.

Summary Capsule: Little brother is out for revenge after losing big brother. Little brother becomes a big brother…and a bear.

Continue reading

Yeti does Loaded Weapon 1

loaded1“My wife and I haven’t had sex in over two years. I have a six month old daughter.” 

The Scoop: 1993 PG-13, directed by Gene Quintano, starring Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson

Tagline: Oh my God. They have guns!

Summary Capsule: Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson team up to take down William Shatner. Or wait, Emilio and Shatner go after Jackson. Tim Curry vs Jon Lovitz. Does it really matter?

Continue reading

Welcome aboard Yeti!

yetibanner

yetiToday we get the privilege of introducing to you a new Mutant: Matthew AKA Yeti. We’ll be posting Yeti’s first review later today, but in the meanwhile check out his bio and silently judge him as you are all wont to do!

Yeti, according to Wikipedia, is an apelike creature who carries a large stone as a weapon and makes a whistling swoosh sound. Replace that large stone with a hacky sack and you have our newest Mutant. It is known he was raised by all wolves (females), which lead to his unfaltering love of The Jungle Book and all things “rom com”. After his fiftieth viewing of Cocktail he found his inner Tom Cruise and started bartending. He is currently slinging drinks for  celebrities at a movie theater in Los Angeles. Yes. A movie theater. He was last spotted arguing with Raven-Symone, remarking that Tangled was a better movie than Frozen.

  • Read Yeti’s reviews and articles!
  • Yeti’s Top 10 Movies: Disney’s Hercules, Point Break, Cocktail, Semi-Pro, Walk Hard, Road House, Bloodsport, Lord of the Rings, The Dark Knight, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
  • Yeti on Twitter: @Yettibeats