Vikings: Season One review

Vikings - Travis Fimmel as RagnarIt’s hard to imagine a more fitting television series title sequence than the 52-second gem that leads off each episode of History’s Vikings.

“If I had a heart I would love you,” sings Fever Ray in a creepy multitrack pitch-shifting mashup that both disturbs and delights. “More, gimme more, gimme more,” she continues, perfectly capturing the pagan spirit of creator Michael Hirst’s quasi-historical epic as principal character Ragnar Lodbrok floats to the bottom of the sea, looking up at the silhouettes of Viking longships, falling axes, and slow-motion quick cuts of everything from helmets to ravens to, well, I’m not exactly sure what that red stuff was.

Guts, maybe?

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Eunice does Pompeii

pompeii-poster“Is this the end of the world?”

The Scoop: 2014 PG-13, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and Kiefer Sutherland

Tagline: No warning. No escape.

Summary Capsule: Milo meets true love. Milo meets Otis BFF. Milo meets arch nemesis. Things go boom. All in three days.

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Pearl Harbor

pearl“I think World War Two just started!”

The Scoop: 2001 PG-13, directed by Michael Bay and starring Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett and Kate Beckinsale.

Tagline: It was the end of innocence, and the dawn of a nation’s greatest glory. [Deliberately chose the most sick-making for you, MRFH readers. You’re welcome.]

Summary Capsule: Mr Day and Mrs Infamy go on a date… who knew it’d be such a ruckus? Continue reading

Eunice does The Raven

“If I would’ve known that my work would’ve had such a morbid effect on people, I would’ve devoted more time to eroticism.”

The Scoop: 2012 R, directed by James McTeigue and starring John Cusack, Luke Evans, and Alice Eve

Tagline: The only one who can stop a serial killer is the man who inspired him.

Summary Capsule: Tagline kinda steals my thunder: Edgar Allan Poe has to stop a serial killer who uses his stories as inspiration.

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Louise does Bathory: Countess of Blood

“That Jezebel is still among us, sequestered in her castle, bathing in the blood of innocent virgins.”

The Scoop: 2008 15, directed by Juraj Jakubisko and starring Anna Friel, Vincent Regan and Karel Roden.

Tagline: Warrior. Tyrant. Lover. Vampire. A Legend has many faces.

Summary Capsule: Sixteenth-century ruler keeps getting mistaken for a vampire while she struggles to keep control over Hungary. Continue reading