Six Films to Fall Asleep To

It doesn’t mean they’re boring and it doesn’t mean they’re bad, but these movies are instant Nyquil for the long-suffering insomniac:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Beige, beige, beige! Honestly, ST:TMP doesn’t deserve the scorn that it gets, but that lifeless color scheme, the endless 2001-style special effects, and Kirk’s twenty-minute pleasure cruise around the Enterprise have convinced me that you’re not really SUPPOSED to watch this movie in one sitting.

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Al does One Crazy Summer [Savage Steve Holland Week]

One Crazy Summerbox“Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?”

The Scoop: 1986 PG. Directed by Savage Steve Holland and starring John Cusack, Demi Moore, and Curtis Armstrong.

Tagline: They’re out of school, out on Nantucket, and out of their minds. With this crowd, anything can happen!

Summary Capsule: Teens spend a really crazy summer on an island, fighting against the forces of evil snobs and punks with pink wigs.

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Al does Blade

bladebox“I’m gonna be naughty! I’m gonna be a naughty vampire god!”

The Scoop: 1998 R. Directed by Steve Norrington and starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Stephen Dorff, and Donal Logue.

Tagline: The power of an immortal. The soul of a human. The heart of a hero.

Summary Capsule: Non-cheerleader vampire hunter poses dramatically while fighting non-sparkly, non-Sookie vampires. Also, everyone wears black and mopes, ’cause it’s the 90s.

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Al does Leprechaun [Before They Were Famous Week]

Lepbox“Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won’t live through the night.”

The Scoop: 1993 R, written and directed by Mark Jones, and starring Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, and Mark Holton

Tagline: Her luck just ran out.

Summary Capsule: A vengeful leprechaun in search of “me gold”  terrorizes pasty, hapless humans.

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Al does Pacific Rim

pacrimbox“Today we face the monsters that are at our door! Today we are cancelling the apocalypse!”

The Scoop: 2013 R, directed by Guillermo Del Toro and starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, and Rinko Kikuchi

Tagline: Go big or go extinct.

Summary Capsule: Robots that are legally distinct from yet strikingly similar to Gundams protect the Earth from monsters that are legally distinct from yet strikingly similar to Godzilla.

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