Saturday’s Six: Important Historical Events That The Mainstream Media Won’t Touch

1991

1991apes

Super-intelligent apes rebel against humanity and take over the planet. They were particularly nonplussed at all the actors walking around in bad monkey masks.

1997

1997escape2

The President crash lands in Manhattan and must be rescued from the Duke of New York.  Reports of Ernest Borgnine and Harry Dean Stanton are unsubstantiated.

2000

2000deathrace

Frankenstein attempts to win an unheard-of THIRD Transcontinental Road Race.  Machine Gun Joe was quoted as saying he just wanted to “go the distance.”

2004

2004timecop2

The Time Enforcement Commission keeps the timeline safe and make sure nothing is ever altered. Or so they say, because, well, we wouldn’t ever be able to tell anyway.

2005

2005transformers

A nation mourns as Optimus Prime falls in battle. The Autobot Matrix of Leadership passes to Ultra Magnus.  Of course, President Magnus is widely remembered as “lame duck” Autobot and lost the next election to upstart newcomer Hot Rod, who railed against the war with the Decepticons and promised “transformations you can believe in”.

2008

2008reignoffire2

Dragons reawaken in England and reclaim the planet.  The super-intelligent apes were unavailable for comment.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s