“Wands away. There will be no need to talk.”
The Scoop: 2007 PG-13, directed by David Yates and starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon and Helena Bonham Carter
Tagline: The Rebellion Begins
Summary Capsule: Boy wizard grows up, goes through teenage angst and yet again foils Dark Lord’s dastardly plans. Look, it’s Harry Potter 5, you should know the deal by now.
Lissa’s Rating: Heck with a rating. I loved it. More importantly, this is a review written by a major Potter fan and comparing it to the books. Here be spoilers for everything EXCEPT book 7.
Lissa’s Review: By some miracle (actually, because of my generous, wonderful, fantastic in-laws who babysat Ducklet), we got to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix reasonably soon after opening. Needless to say, I was delighted. Not only has it been ages since I’ve seen a movie in theaters, it was Harry Potter, right when Harry Potter fandom is hitting the frenzy. And more than that, it was Order of the Phoenix. WHEEE!
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is, I would guess, the most divisive book among Harry Potter fans. You either loved it or you hated it. It’s a very dense book, without the linear and obvious main plotline of the previous book. Harry is also acting like a typical teenager going through angst, which means he is incredibly annoying. While I will agree it’s not J.K. Rowling’s best written book (I think Prisoner of Azkaban is, as of 7/17/07), it’s actually my favorite. Why? Three reasons. One, there are a lot of things that resonate on a very personal level with me in Order of the Phoenix. Two, Dolores Jane Umbridge, who is undoubtedly THE BEST villain in the Potterworld. (Voldemort was always a little too Evil Overlord for my taste.) And three, Sirius Black. The movie did not disappoint me at all.
It helps that Steve Kloves did not write the script. Michael Goldberg did a much better job, and can we please have him back for the last two movies? Goldberg managed to coax a fairly direct plotline out of Order of the Phoenix, centering on Voldemort’s attempts at getting the prophecy made about him and Harry, and on the political battle between Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic. He did cut out a lot of things that made the book interesting to me, but even I, a devoted fan, can appreciate that he cut what needed to be cut and kept what needed to be kept. I thought the movie was actually quite tight, and that it was about as faithful a literary adaptation as you’re going to get.
The get-the-prophecy plotline fared pretty well in the action scenes, but was a little lacking in the explanation sense. While book readers understand why Voldemort wanted the prophecy (he’d never heard the whole thing), that was never clarified to movie-goers. I think it might have been an issue if you hadn’t read the book, but more afterwards, after the adrenaline has worn off. The Dumbledore vs. Ministry plotline fared much better, and there’s one spot I was very forcibly reminded of some movie like 1984 where there’s a totalitarian regime. The oppression and restriction at Hogwarts become very apparent, and I thought the movie did an excellent job with that aspect.
The acting was mostly good to great. Dan Radcliffe is doing better and better with Harry, and Rupert Grint makes a great Ron once Steve Kloves isn’t there to turn him into a buffoon and take away all his good lines and give them to Hermione. Emma Watson — I have to say it — annoys the heck out of me. As the movies progress, I like what they’ve done with Hermione less and less, and that’s partly Watson and partly the costuming people and script writing. Dear Hollywood, J.K. Rowling made a geek character that stays a geek. Please keep her as such. It worked for Willow Rosenberg. Love, me. Anyway, most of the other kids are anywhere from all right to good, except for Luna. Evanna Lynch could not have been any more perfect as Luna. Seriously. She’s adorable, she’s quirky, she’s sort of spacy, and yet she’s got a strange down-to-earthness, too. I absolutely loved Luna, and don’t even try debating that one with me.
The adults were much more fantastic, particularly Imelda Staunton as Umbridge. (She’s a little more attractive than I pictured Umbridge, but that’s okay because I always pictured Kingsley as a bit more Shaft and Lupin without the cardigans and Sirius without the pimp coats.) Anyway, the reason I love Umbridge is because, let’s face it, we all know someone like her. There is someone somewhere in your life with the same lust for power, the same follow the rules attitude, the same pettiness, and the same sugar covered bile. Generally they’re either a secretary or a boss, because you would NEVER associate with this person voluntarily. But Umbridges exist, and Staunton played her to the hilt. (Also? Her office was exactly like I pictured it from the books, and is a work of genius on Rowling’s behalf.) I also enjoyed Gary Oldman as Sirius, even if he is absolutely nothing like how I picture Sirius. But he had a lovely sadness about him, although I missed Sirius’s blacker moods as well.
There were a few things that I liked better in the movie than I did in the book. As always, I am perfectly happy not to see Dobby and have Neville take over his role. Neville is far less annoying, and can even speak in grammatically correct sentences. And I thought the fight at the Ministry of Magic was far, far better than in the book. In the book, the kids come off as quite clever and the Death Eaters seem really dumb for having 15-year-olds foil them. In the movie, the kids came off as darn lucky, running away from the Death Eaters and firing the same curses that they knew over and over until the Order showed up. Sorry, Rowling, but I think the movie makers had the right of it. Of course, then I guess you have to wonder how much you can expect from people who call themselves Death Eaters. Why don’t they just say, “Hi, we’re evil! Would you like a leaflet on our programme? It includes using Unforgivable Curses, murdering all Muggle-borns, and terrorizing the Wizarding population in general!”? (Note to people who read my fics. Yes. I know I’ve used this line twice already. I like it, okay? And come on — I have a point.)
Anyway. There were also a few niggling things I did hate. I really didn’t like the soppy speech about love that Harry used to fight off Voldemort’s possession at the end. Ick. I didn’t like that Umbridge gave the entire D.A. her special detention, because I thought that undermined the cruelty and shrewdness of her character. She could do it to Harry, because Harry wouldn’t tell. Hermione? There’s a reason Hermione never got the quill in the books, and it’s because Umbridge knew she couldn’t manipulate Hermione that way. And finally, I didn’t like Sirius calling Harry “James.” While I realize Rowling states 8,365,682,153 times that Harry looks like James but with Lily’s eyes, it bugs me that Sirius did it. Mainly because while I believe Sirius wanted Harry to be someone he was not, he was always in full awareness of who Harry was… and sometimes disappointed by that fact. It’s much more subtle than what Molly Weasley or Hermione Granger spouts off as armchair psychology. (Because, y’know, I have a degree in psychology myself. Right.) I would have been fine with any other adult character doing that, but Sirius… it bugged me.
There were omissions that bug people that didn’t phase me at all. For example, Sirius never mentioned Regulus. So what? Sure, we all know he’s the infamous R.A.B., (no, that is not a spoiler for book 7, I still haven’t read it. I’m just THAT confident that I’m right), but even in the book Sirius just gave Regulus a passing mention. In fact, before Half Blood Prince I was convinced that Regulus wouldn’t be important at all. From a movie standpoint, it makes more sense just to introduce Regulus in the sixth movie as R.A.B. and in the seventh movie. I wonder about how relevant it will be that Bellatrix clearly used an Avada Kedavra on Sirius in the movie, but used an unspecified red light spell in the book. Something tells me it’s probably not a big deal. And while I did miss Mrs. Black’s portrait, she really was there more for ambiance and character development than for plot purposes. Heck, she and Kreacher pretty much had the same lines — did you really need both in the movie?
One scene that I was very glad was missing was Harry’s anger at Dumbledore after Sirius died. This was a scene that resonated greatly with me in the book. In written form, it’s raw, painful, and I thought it summed up my own feelings of anger at loss after losing my father. I think it’s some of Rowling’s better work, but I can’t reread it because it’s just too painful. So, on the one hand, I’m glad it was omitted because I just didn’t want to watch it. On the other hand, it’s also a scene that must be done right, or it falls to pieces and comes across terribly. I’m not convinced enough of Dan Radcliffe’s acting prowess to want that scene in there.
And then there were omissions or changes that might bug me a bit, but I can understand. I missed the McGonagall vs. Umbridge scenes. I always loved McGonagall in this novel, and I was very sad that her role was cut down. I wish Trelawney had been drinking her cooking sherry. I wish we’d gotten to see a little more of the teachers fighting back against Umbridge, since I like those moments. But, again, I can see the point of cutting that.
Oh, romance. How can I forget romance? See, you have to understand, in the Harry Potter fandom, romance is fighting words. So I kind of have to address it. So. Romance. Here’s the long and the short of it.
I have always thought the Harry/Cho romance was very entertaining and very well written, very true to life. I thought it was adorable in the movie, and the Harry/Cho kiss utterly cracked me up because they kissed like such teenagers. Ginny was always rather grumpy about it, which makes sense as the moviegoers will see what Harry doesn’t. Other than that, I can make comments about fandom romances, but you know what? I just don’t really care about Harry’s love life. Odd, isn’t it? There. Romance addressed.
There are a lot of things I could go on about, fangirl squeeing over. I loved the opening scene with Harry and Dudley. I loved Arabella Figg and Tonks, who needs to get a grip and tell Lupin that if he can’t appreciate her, he does not deserve her fine self. (Come on — she was freaking adorable.) I loved Crookshanks playing with the Extendable Ear. I loved the twins, especially since Michael Goldberg realized they don’t have to always finish each other’s sentences. (Hint, hint, Kloves!) I loved Ron. I loved Harry’s anxiety. I loved the Snape and Umbridge encounter. I loved the Prophecy Room. I loved Remus holding Harry back from the Veil. (Although I still get annoyed my favorite character was killed bya fricking CURTAIN.) I loved the escape from Azkaban. I loved the Death Eater whoosh trick. I loved the D.A. I loved seeing all the Patroni. And yes, I love picking the whole thing to pieces, and analyzing it to death. And I love that I get to post this on a site with readers who are free to argue with me or agree with me, but most importantly will read my review.
So, yeah. LOVED the movie, even the stuff I didn’t. (Because what Potter fan is happy unless they can find something to complain about?) And yeah. DOWN WITH KLOVES!
Kyle’s Rating: “These are real wizard’s robes!” “Oh, are they?”
Kyle’s Review: Having now sat willingly through (the last) three Harry Potter films, and knowing that I bought the first book at some point and that it rests, unread, somewhere with other books, I continue to blissfully remain ignorant of the charms of Harry Potter. I truly believe that the books themselves are teeming with the sorts of character moments and mockery of the British class system that would “start me up” and leave me seriously considering going as Harry Potter to a Halloween party or three. But until I’m laid up with a broken leg or something, I’m going to continue to ignore the books. Sorry! Not really, though.
Not to place the blame anywhere else than solely on lazy ol’ me, but: if the film adaptations managed to rise above “serviceable” more often than not, I might be persuaded to go crack open the monstrous stack created by the entire series. Especially since, by the time I finish the first one or two (if I started today, and I think I’ll go swimming instead) the seventh and final book will be released and carefully dissected on a million online Harry Potter shrines. Maybe the next film will really spark my interest and send me sprinting to the nearest bookstore…
… because Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix didn’t do much more than entertain me. Which sounds like it did its job, which it certainly did in living up to the price of my movie ticket (which was actually free, so there’s that). But above and beyond the film itself, there was no sense of ultimate charisma that made me want to dive headfirst into the cultural phenomenon. Which is an unfortunate position for a film to be evaluated on, since it should (and does) stand on its own merits. But when the film adaptations are an extension, or “tentpole” or if you will, of the massive Harry Potter pop culture “tent” which resides firmly in the “mainstream” by virtue of millions of “people” reading and adoring the books as instant classics of literature, I for one would appreciate if I was a little more drawn in by my exposure to any piece of the whole. You know, like how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is so awesome that no matter what decade I was in when I saw it, I would immediately want to run to the store and buy up every TMNT action figure I could find. Hooray!
About the film itself: I’m assuming that films are by and large targeted squarely at those who are intimately familiar with the books (well, duh, right?) because it’s my superficial appraisal that all the really good stuff is left on the page and we just get the action in broad strokes. It’s practically universally accepted critically and in fandom that Prisoner of Azkaban is the best film thus far in the Harry Potter series thanks to the choice of Alfonso Cuarón as director. Or at least I always thought so: doing a little research I see that Goblet of Fire has a 0.1 advantage in terms of democratically-determined “quality” over PoA. Whoa! So, perhaps only in my neck of the woods: PoA was the most quality film yet because of the expert direction and the sense that these were kids in an academic setting where they occasionally had to go outside the rules to save the day. Great movie, great pulse of the larger Potter movement inherent in the film, and great chemistry between everybody. Nice!
Goblet of Fire was solid yet unremarkable; perhaps a step down slightly from PoA. At the time, I figured it was just suffering in comparison to a stronger film, but after seeing Order of the Phoenix I have to wonder if these movies shouldn’t be four hours long or something. Like I said earlier: we get the plot in broad strokes and sometimes the lack of something important (including charisma on most characters’ parts [although Snape rules, as do all characters brought to life by Alan Rickman], chemistry between friends who are supposedly best friends, and a sense of why anyone really cares whether Harry Potter lives or dies) indicates to me that the book probably fills in what should be in (presumably) nauseating detail (have you seen those books? They’re huge!).
So we’re left with, well, another solid film about young wizards-in-training and they escapades at a school for wizardry while intrigue and intense danger weaves inexorably in and out of their lives. The films actually make a strong case for “Hogwarts” to replace “Harry Potter” in the titles for everything, since I’m much more interested in the ensemble cast than Harry himself. Which isn’t to slight the actor; quite the opposite, in fact, as the casting of these films has (by my outsider haven’t-read-the-books-but-whatever vantage point) been impeccable and I simply want to see a lot more of everybody! How about a spin-off where the absolutely fantastic Luna fights (potentially imaginary) “nergals?” I can dig it!
This movie has already as of writing this made more money than I will probably see in my lifetime and will double that amount by the time this review gets published. Harry Potter endures regardless of critical approval or suggestive observations. I guess I’m happy that the films that I’ve seen (and I don’t feel the need to see the first two; many congratulate me on that position) range from fantastic to entertaining; none have especially disappointed me. The cultural juggernaut rolls on, and I suppose if I could myself wish for anything (see, magic!) it would be a little more creative style in the next two movies. But if millions and millions of dedicated fans are mindlessly happy with the films we’re getting, then my voice is going to get drowned out. And you know what? That’s totally, utterly fine. More Doctor Who for me!
Mike’s Rating: 5 out of 5 butterbeers. mmmmm….butterbeer…
Mike’s Review: I’m unique amongst Harry Potter fans, in that my initiation to this universe was not the books, but the movies. When Sorcerer’s Stone was released I only went to see it because all my friends were going and I didn’t want to be left alone on a Friday night, weeping into my huge pilla (Haid! Paper! Now! *ahem*… sorry). I did not expect to so captivated by the story. I immediately went out and bought all the books that were out and read them back to back. So, while the books have since become my main canon, the movies still hold a special place in my otherwise cynical black heart.
It was in that spirit that I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. With a sense of anticipation akin to waiting for that weekend when your girlfriend’s parents go out of town, I waited nearly six hours in line for the midnight show. Now I’ve loved every single HP movie, so I knew this one was darn near a sure thing. Even so, I was surprised at how good they’ve made this one. Also, for the first time since Prisoner of Azkaban, I can honestly say that none of the omissions of info from the book really pissed me off (Prisoner and Goblet of Fire ultimately suffered for leaving out particularly important plot lines that could have been dealt with in a single sentence of exposition).
Long gone are the wonder and innocence of the first two films. We’re on the dark end of the streets here, folks, and believe me when I say that no one is safe.
Harry faces not only the impending threat of a newly rejuvenated Lord Voldemort, but also the scoffing disbelief of the Wizarding World at large. As the movie opens, the Ministry of Magic continues to resolutely and firmly stick their collective heads in the sand and wait for a big evil wizard to kill everyone in the world. To that end, the Ministry has appointed Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) as this year’s Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, specifically to keep Harry and Dumbledore silent on the matter. Staunton is so smug and prissy, you will quite literally find yourself wishing for her gruesome death ten minutes into the movie. During one crucial and brutal scene, you will actually be fervently praying for it. She is every uppity teacher you’ve ever wanted to throw off a roof into whirling helicopter blades (you know you’ve thought about it).
Against this backdrop, Dumbledore has re-formed the titular Order, made up of wizards who fought against Voldemort during his original rise to power. While this means we get to see a lot of welcome faces from the previous films (Brendan Gleeson as “Mad Eye” Moody; David Thewlis as Remus Lupin) and a few new interesting new faces (Natalia Tena as Nymphadora Tonks and George Harris as Kingsley Shacklebolt), it also means that nobody in the order really gets a lot to do. This isn’t a big complaint because honestly, for a cast like this, a little goes a long way. Harris has a particular presence playing Shacklebolt, and while he only gets one line, it’s arguably the best line in the movie. Gary Oldman as Sirius Black is the one actor in the Order who gets serious screen-time, and the portrayal of his relationship with Harry as his only remaining tie to his family is spot-on, and necessary, seeing as how he only got a minute of a CGI’d fireplace in the last movie.
The main focus of the storyline, however, rests of course with “scar-head”, “ginger” and “know-it-all”. Since Umbridge refuses to teach any offensive or defensive spells, they have only two options: (a) underground Dark Arts Defense club or (b) stop showering and hope the stink will ward away Death Eaters. They go with option ‘A’.
The training sessions of ‘Dumbledore’s Army’ are portrayed in rousing montage and we see a great deal of character development in a seemingly short time. Harry goes from reluctant head of this group to confident instructor and gets his first kiss with Cho Chang (*yawn*, call me when it’s Ginny’s turn). Hermione learns the thrill of civil disobedience, and even Ron seems to be less of a complete tool. A surprising number of background characters get a chance to shine. Seamus’s skepticism of Harry touched a nerve. Neville’s subplot of training to avenge his parents is really poignant, and I loved how the camera makes a point of focusing on Ginny whenever Cho is mentioned. For those of us who’ve read Half Blood Prince and know what’s coming this is an especially nice touch. Even Percy makes a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it reappearance… and of course, this is Fred and George’s finest hour. It went by a bit hastily, but it had me applauding openly nonetheless.
Of course the climax is the big Dumbledore’s Army/Order of the Phoenix vs. Death Eater no holds barred, rage-in-the-cage throw-down, brother! To say this scene is action packed is like saying Batman and Robin was less than up to par (I think I get brownie points with Justin every time I bash Batman and Robin, it may even have gotten me this job!). As twenty or so wizards and witches all start waling on each other, suddenly you know where the special effects budget went. If the movie was a car, then this scene is the equivalent of getting the engine fitted with Nitrous Awesome. And of course, there’s the long awaited titanic main event. You’ve waited, you’ve wondered and now you’ll see… Dumbledore Vs. Voldemort! I won’t say how much this scene made me weep openly with it sheer awesomeness, except for yes, I will. This is the reason I go to movies.
As cool as all this is, I’ve left out the reason I really loved this film and that’s Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood. Somehow this actress managed to encapsulate everything about the character that I adore. Her slightly loopy, yet knowing and serendipitous way of carrying herself is exactly how I pictured the character in the books. She is at separate times a source of comic-relief, an unlikely source of profound wisdom for Harry, or a sympathetic stoic victim of bullying. Lynch just IS Luna She walked away with this movie, and with a cast like this, that’s freakin’ saying something!
So seriously folks, what are you waiting for? I know you’ve already seen it, but go see it again! Show Luna some love!
Justin’s Rating: I know you might think you’re being clever coming up with a pun on the name “Harry Potter” but all you’re doing is digging my grave, one malapropism at a time.
Justin’s Review: In 2000, you just know that Warner Bros. had to be sweating bullets. Landing one of the most successful book series of all time for their studio, they had the golden opportunity to create a can’t-fail franchise that would be a juggernaut – if done correctly. I can’t imagine the stress and pressure they felt (if you can project emotions onto a non-human entity such as a movie studio, and I can!), particularly in casting the roles of the children. After all, they weren’t just casting one movie; they were casting a potential seven. And no matter how talented a 10-year-old kid might be, there’s pretty much no way of telling how good they’ll be when their voices started to crack and hair would begin to shoot out of scary places. Not to mention that there was no way to make one movie per year for the next seven years, which meant that the kids’ growth would outstrip the series characters’ age as a matter of fact.
I mean, let’s face it – there was every good chance that Harry, Ron and Hermione would grow up to be just another Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. And Dana Plato. I honestly didn’t hold out much hope; Chris Columbus lost all credibility after Bicentennial Man, and the kids themselves weren’t really the best child actors I’ve seen.
So, five films later, fears are alieved and my suspicions are laid to rest. In a rare stroke of luck, as these kids and movies aged, so did their quality – Radcliffe, Grint and Watson are no longer bumbling caricatures (meek victim, comedy relief, and domineering bookworm, respectively), and Order of the Phoenix is actually good enough to be considered on its own as a solid film, instead of needing the umbrella of protection that the Harry Potter™ franchise provides.
I think it was also a pleasant surprise that Order turned out so well, because a common consensus among readers (but by no means unanimous) was that J.K. Rowling’s fifth novel was a muddled effort. No, scratch that. It was a blight upon the paper on which it was written. Sure, if you like whiny, angsty, screaming teenagers who have the added benefit of being able to turn you into a toad, then this was your thing. But man, that book was a low point in the series. I already didn’t like Harry much, due to his inability to do anything other than react to situations and stumble through them with the crutches of his friends and deus ex machina, but when you make Harry go through puberty and have him wig out at anything and everything… I think that many fatalities of the year of that book’s release were due to frustrated readers chucking the tome across the room right as a loved one happened to walk in.
Happily, director David Yates and the rest of the crew managed to make a likable, interesting movie by excising a lot of the fatty waste from Order and shaping it into a tight little package of dark thrills and fun moments. It’s Year Five for Harry, and time for Rowling to start kicking the little twerp while he’s rolling around on the ground. That means that nobody believes him about the evil wizard Voldemort’s return, Dumbledore gets replaced at Hogwarts by a beastly cheerful pink thing of a woman, and Cho gets an unfortunate haircut that makes her look younger than she did in Goblet of Fire. Yet, other than looking disgruntled and constipated from time to time, Harry keeps his angst to himself, and finally – FINALLY – accepts the mantle of “hero” and begins to earn his keep.
I still hold fast to my proclamation that the Harry Potter series would’ve been better served by several miniseries, one to cover each novel. In movie form, a lot is lost – and if you’ve known any rabid Harry Potter fans (Lissa won’t take her Gryffindor scarf off, and the smell is unbelievable), then you’ll know that all they live for is to complain about changes, omissions and misinterpretations. Also, erotic fan fiction. Ahem. This film series will keep their rage fuelled for decades, even though they’ll claim to love them to death as well. Although it’s a more socially accepted fad, I think Potter fans carry the same stigma as Trekkies and their ilk. But that’s okay, I suppose – we’re all geeks here.
I’m not going to complain about any omissions or changes, but I will repeat myself by saying that if you cast some serious Big British Guns of Acting in your movie, you do not let them go to waste by giving them only a meagre line or two in compensation, while Harry gets a sixteen-minute kiss in a poop-infested owl tower. The series is more than just about egotistical Harry, and the filmmakers better figure that out before there’s no chance left to change it.
Anyway, good show. Not as brilliant as Harry Potter 3, but definitely a positive direction for the series as we turn the corner into the final stretch.
- Harry and Voldemort constantly keep doing a weird neck-stretching thing. Nice parallel.
- The Ministry of Magic was designed by an 80’s corporate bathroom designer.
- The DADA dummy looked an awful lot like Snape
- Patroni: Hermione’s is an otter (because Rowling likes otters, apparently), Ron’s is a dog, Luna’s is a rabbit, Ginny’s is a horse… I didn’t catch Neville’s, but I’m curious what it would be.
- No confirmation that Umbridge sent the Dementors after Harry.
- Although Cho tattled in December, it took a lot longer than that for Umbridge to get to the DA.
- The radish earrings worn by Luna Lovegood were actually made by Evanna Lynch (the actress portraying her).
- Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s signatures for the Dumbledore’s Army roster are the same signatures seen in the books.
- Book-to-Movie Tie-in: When Harry, Ron and Hermione enter Hog’s Head Pub in Hogsmeade, they encounter Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore’s brother. In the scene, Aberforth is in the company of a goat; a relationship which Professor Dumbledore comments upon in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, saying Aberforth was once accused of “practicing inappropriate charms on a goat”. (Look, I think the goat is really funny, okay?)
Ron Weasley: Hermione, you are truly the most wonderful person I have ever met and if I’m ever rude to you…
Hermione Granger: Then I’ll know you’ve gone back to normal.
Dolores Umbridge: Wands away. There will be no need to talk.
Hermione Granger: No need to think is more likely.
Luna Lovegood: I hope there’s pudding.
Dolores Umbridge: You know, I really hate children.
Hermione Granger: Ron! Why are eating like that?
Ron Weasley: I’m hungry!
Hermione Granger: Don’t you know how Cho is feeling right now? Well, obviously, she’s feeling sad, because of Cedric dying. Then she’s feeling guilty for liking Harry, and worrying about what everyone else will say. And she probably can’t work out her feelings towards Harry anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when he died.
Ron Weasley: One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.
Hermione Granger: Ron, that’s just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon!
Dolores Umbridge: Please, tell them I mean no harm.
Harry Potter: Sorry, Professor, but I must not tell lies.
Severus Snape: I may vomit.
Dolores Umbridge: You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?
Severus Snape: Yes.
Dolores Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful?
Severus Snape: Obviously.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you have to admit, Dumbledore’s got style.
Luna Lovegood: I see them too. You’re just as sane as I am.
Alastor ‘Mad Eye’ Moody: Stay in formation everyone. Don’t break ranks if one of us is killed.
Sirius Black: Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters.
If you enjoyed this, try:
- Other Harry Potter films
- Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
- Pickin’ up a book for once, ya punks!