In this edition of our poster dissection series, where we break down the critical elements of an advertisement we’ve spent way, way too much time looking over, we’re going to harken your worst nightmare: The Hottie and the Nottie.
- Let’s start with the title. “The Hottie & the Nottie” might well be one of the most insipid names ever devised by a movie studio, but that’s not the poster’s fault. No, the poster is to blame for using different colors on the letters so we’d totally understand that, like, she’s HOT and she’s NOT. Listen, if you have to go that far just to make things clear, perhaps you’re shooting over your intended demographic’s heads.
- Because if you’re going to capitalize on Paris Hilton and you’re not using a night-vision shot, you might as well haul out her single biggest contribution to world civilization: a tired catch-phrase.
- Oh, we’re going to get to the “Nottie” in a second, but I have to ask — is there a nuclear detonation happening behind them somewhere? Why is it so insanely bright that her hair is being swallowed up by what appears to be the sun?
- How to make someone ugly in five simple steps: unibrow, pimples, bad teeth, clueless expression, and a hair color that isn’t Hiltony blonde. Oh, and having the words “That’s Not” hovering nearby isn’t helping your case.
- To subtly drive the point home, Ms. Hot is wearing a skimpy… whatever that thing is (doily?), while Ms. Not is wearing a body-covering one piece. That’s presumably to hide Kuato popping out of her stomach.
- AHH! ZOMBIE LEGS! That’s so not hot!
- “Get behind me, Satan!” (That’s a little Mark 8:33 action going on right there, which I guess means that Paris thinks she’s Jesus. I’m not surprised. After all, she turns pure crap into box office gold.)