“I’ve been offered a lot for my work… but never everything.”
The Scoop: 1960 PG, directed by John Sturges and starring Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and Charles Bronson
Tagline: They were seven – And they fought like seven hundred!
Summary Capsule: Seven cowboys defend a little town against bandits.
“Nothin’ like a good piece of hickory.”
The Scoop: 1985, R, Directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Clint Eastwood, Richard Kiel and Michael Moriarty.
Tagline: Hell has come home.
Summary Capsule: The Man With No Name saves a mining settlement with no hope.
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“Howdy. I’m gonna separate your head from your shoulders. Hope you don’t mind none.”
The Scoop: 1987 R, directed by Kathryn Bigelow and starring Bill Paxton, Jenny Wright, and Lance Henriksen
Tagline: Killing you would be easy, they’d rather terrify you… forever.
Summary Capsule: Oklahoma boy discovers why it’s a bad idea to sexually harass the new girl in town and subsequently falls in with your typical Southern vampire clan.
“You say something boy?”
The Scoop: 1973 PG, directed by Michael Crichton and starring Yul Brynner, Richard Benjamin, and James Brolin
Tagline: …Where nothing can possibly go wrong!
Summary Capsule: …And then something goes wrong!
“‘Scuse me while I whip this out.”
The Scoop: 1974 R, directed by Mel Brooks and starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, and Madeline Kahn
Tagline: Never give a saga an even break!
Summary Capsule: Mel Brooks takes a popular film genre and — wait, get ready for this — spoofs it. But before that was a given.
“It’s not you, it’s me. I attract violence.”
The Scoop: 15 1987, directed by Lance Hool and starring Patrick Swayze, Lisa Niemi and Anthony Zerbe.
Tagline: He is the desert warrior, carving the future with his sword.
Summary Capsule: A post-apocalyptic western starring Patrick Swayze and Patrick Swayze’s wife. I know, right? Read the rest of this entry »
“He was licking me!”
The Scoop: 1999 R, directed by Antonia Bird and Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle and David Arquette
Tagline: You are who you eat
Summary Capsule: Cannibals face-off in the wild, wild west
“What I’m sayin’ is you got a choice. You can drink your last few hours away on a beach – which, by the way, is not a bad idea – or you can follow me one last time.”
The Scoop: 2011 PG-13, directed by Jon Favreau and starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Adam Beach, Sam Rockwell, Clancy Brown, and Paul Dano.
Tagline: First Contact. Last Stand.
Summary Capsule: It’s the Wild West versus nasty friggin’ aliens. Read the rest of this entry »
WAIT! This is Part Two of a series! Read Part One HERE.
WAIT AGAIN! Spoilers for ALL SEVEN Dark Tower Books may appear at any time. PLEASE STOP NOW if you haven’t finished the series. You have been warned.
So, the Dark Tower movies seem to be in a never ending flux. The plan of Movie > TV > Movie > TV > Movie was ready to go, with seemingly all of Hollywood holding its breath and cheering from the sidelines. Then suddenly it was canceled. Then it was uncanceled, then canceled again. Javier Bardem was in, then he was out, then he was in. The budget was stripped down to its skivvies then buffed back up to overflowing. Now, the totally-gonna-happen-sure-thing is that it will be an HBO television series. Not a bad idea, but I’ll believe it when I see it.
“If you don’t go out there, everyone will say that Clint Eastwood is the biggest yellow-belly in the west!”
The Scoop: 1989 PG, directed by Rovbert Zemeckis and starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and Mary Steenburgen
Tagline: They’ve saved the best trip for last… but this time they may have gone too far.
Summary Capsule: Marty and Doc travel to the ooooooooooold west and battle the Lone Ranger and Tonto and camp out on the Ponderosa while singing Oklahoma.
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