“The Phantom of the Opera is here… inside my mind.”
The Scoop: 2004 PG, directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum and Ciaran Hinds.
Tagline: The world’s biggest musical!
Summary Capsule: Crazy disfigured reclusive musical visionary sociopath loves waifish deranged orphan Opera singer with angel obsession, who in turn loves wishy-washy nobleman who also loves her. People sing. Read the rest of this entry »
“Sit down! Proud, empty, hollow things that you are. Let this remind you why you once feared the dark.”
The Scoop: 12A 2008, directed by Guillermo del Toro and starring Ron Perlman, Doug Jones and Luke Goss.
Tagline: Saving the world is a hell of a job.
Summary Capsule: The best damn demon hunter in the world (sorry, Buffy) has to contend with an uptight new boss, an indestructible army, and a hormonal girlfriend. Guess which one he’s dreading most? Read the rest of this entry »
“It is I who exists, Dr. Jekyll, not you. It is I who will be rid of you!”
The Scoop: 1971 PG, directed by Roy Ward Baker and starring Ralph Bates, Martine Beswick, Gerald Sim, Lewis Fiander, Susan Brodrick, Ivor Dean and Tony Calvin.
Tagline: This film is filled with… SHOCK! AFTER SHOCK!
Summary Capsule: Dr. Jekyll comes up with a potion, as you’d expect him to do. There are… certain subtle differences this time around. Read the rest of this entry »
“Eutopia, the ass end of the universe.”
The Scoop: 2001 R, directed by John Carpenter and starring Natasha Henstridge, Ice Cube, and Jason Statham
Tagline: You Don’t Stand A Ghost Of A Chance
Summary Capsule: Cops team up with crooks to battle nasty evil on Mars
“There are things that go bump in the night. And we are the ones who bump back.”
The Scoop: 2004 12A, directed by Guillermo Del Toro and starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair and John Hurt.
Tagline: Give Evil Hell
Summary Capsule: Good supernatural monsters fight against evil supernatural monsters with the help of the government and avert all kinds of Armageddon badness.
“Don’t expect it to tango. It has a broken back.”
The Scoop: R 1985, directed by Stuart Gordon and starring Jeffrey Combs, David Gale, Barbara Crampton and Bruce Abbott.
Tagline: Herbert West has a very good head on his shoulders… and another in a dish on his desk.
Summary Capsule: Mad scientist just wants to reanimate the dead in peace, but a series of events leads him into a bloody, luminescent green confrontation with all the other (many) mad scientists at his university. Read the rest of this entry »
“Congratulations, you’re officially a bad ass.”
The Scoop: 2012 R, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Bingbing Li, and Sienna Guillory
Tagline: Evil goes global
Summary Capsule: Alice teams up with some characters that were dead, some new guys, and Newt 2.0 in Russia.
“Burn it!”
The Scoop: 2011 R, directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, and Ulrich Thomsen
Tagline: It’s not human. Yet.
Summary Capsule: It’s a prequel to the 1982 classic, as we find out what really happened at the Norwegian camp in Antarctica.
“Today is a good day to die”
The Scoop: 1990 R, directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Kiefer Sutherland, Kevin Bacon, and Julia Roberts
Tagline: Some lines shouldn’t be crossed.
Summary Capsule: Med students cheat death, only to find that death is a sneaky sunovagun
“Do you know who I am? I am the arm, and I sound like this…”
The Scoop: 1992 R, directed by David Lynch and starring Sheryl Lee, Moira Kelly, and Ray Wise
Tagline: Meet Laura Palmer… In a town where nothing is as it seems… And everyone has something to hide.
Summary Capsule: Twin Peaks gets an epilogue that is as confusing and bewildering as any of Lynch’s other works
