Six Films to Fall Asleep To

It doesn’t mean they’re boring and it doesn’t mean they’re bad, but these movies are instant Nyquil for the long-suffering insomniac:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Beige, beige, beige! Honestly, ST:TMP doesn’t deserve the scorn that it gets, but that lifeless color scheme, the endless 2001-style special effects, and Kirk’s twenty-minute pleasure cruise around the Enterprise have convinced me that you’re not really SUPPOSED to watch this movie in one sitting.

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Al does One Crazy Summer [Savage Steve Holland Week]

One Crazy Summerbox“Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?”

The Scoop: 1986 PG. Directed by Savage Steve Holland and starring John Cusack, Demi Moore, and Curtis Armstrong.

Tagline: They’re out of school, out on Nantucket, and out of their minds. With this crowd, anything can happen!

Summary Capsule: Teens spend a really crazy summer on an island, fighting against the forces of evil snobs and punks with pink wigs.

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Al does Blade

bladebox“I’m gonna be naughty! I’m gonna be a naughty vampire god!”

The Scoop: 1998 R. Directed by Steve Norrington and starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Stephen Dorff, and Donal Logue.

Tagline: The power of an immortal. The soul of a human. The heart of a hero.

Summary Capsule: Non-cheerleader vampire hunter poses dramatically while fighting non-sparkly, non-Sookie vampires. Also, everyone wears black and mopes, ’cause it’s the 90s.

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Al does Leprechaun [Before They Were Famous Week]

Lepbox“Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won’t live through the night.”

The Scoop: 1993 R, written and directed by Mark Jones, and starring Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, and Mark Holton

Tagline: Her luck just ran out.

Summary Capsule: A vengeful leprechaun in search of “me gold”  terrorizes pasty, hapless humans.

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Al does Pacific Rim

pacrimbox“Today we face the monsters that are at our door! Today we are cancelling the apocalypse!”

The Scoop: 2013 R, directed by Guillermo Del Toro and starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, and Rinko Kikuchi

Tagline: Go big or go extinct.

Summary Capsule: Robots that are legally distinct from yet strikingly similar to Gundams protect the Earth from monsters that are legally distinct from yet strikingly similar to Godzilla.

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A Goodbye to Ray Harryhausen

hhausen4I remember the first time I saw Clash of the Titans. It was 1991, I was ten years old, and I was in Mrs. Findlay’s fifth grade class at Parker Farms Elementary School. The other fifth graders had been buzzing all week—we were going to take two whole hours out of our school day on Friday and we were going to watch an action movie! We even had to sign a permission slip. It was like a class trip, except we got popcorn.

Friday couldn’t get here fast enough, and, when the day came, we all rushed into class and excitedly took our seats as the VCR whirred to life. Two hours later, the credits rolled and the lights came back up. We began asking the deep, pressing questions that Clash inevitably provokes: What was up with Perseus’s dorky hair? What kind of girly hero rides a flying horse? And, seriously, what was the deal with the owl?

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Saturday’s Six: Good Changes to the Game of Thrones TV Show

gotlogoGame of Thrones Season 3 is just around the corner, and I absolutely can’t wait! Yet whenever I talk to a fan of the books, the conversation always seems to be about the changes HBO has made and how much they suck. Well I, for one, say no more! Yes, there are moves that I question, but there are many more that I like—heck, there are some changes in the television show that I think work better than the story in the books. Yeah, that’s right, I’ll say it. In fact, here are six moments in Game of Thrones that the writers changed and we’re better off for it:

Readers Beware!  Here there be MAJOR SPOILERS for future events in Game of Thrones and the Song of Ice and Fire novels!

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Al does A Good Day to Die Hard

diehard5box“The things we do for our kids…”

The Scoop: 2013 R, directed by John Moore and starring Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, and Radivoje Bukvic

Tagline: Yippie Ki-Yay, Mother Russia.

Summary Capsule: John McClane remembers he had a son in the first few movies and goes to get him out of trouble in Moscow. Unsurprisingly, he causes more trouble than he prevents when it turns out his son now works for the CIA.

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