Last year Al and I collaborated on an article full of rash judgments and preconceived notions about the films that were to be released on the public. As these movies came and went I either found myself missing a lot of films that I honestly thought I would see, forgetting about the lesser-known movies we looked at, and at least once being in complete shock at how much I loved a movie I thought I would hate.
I’d like to start this article off with something very important I think you should know about me:
I Am A Dirty Liar
Why did I say I was going to see all of those movies? I have neither the funds nor the desire to deal with horrible audiences with their screaming babies that for some reason REALLY needed to go see Iron Man 2 in glorious ultra-death volume. My point is I saw all of one movie in theaters this year, which means I lied about half of the films in our 2011 article. I could have at least checked these out on DVD, but I didn’t even bother to do that:
The trailer for Sucker Punch looked so fantastic that I thought for sure I’d go see it. Instead, all of the bad reviews shoo’d me away. I know, I know; I should be ashamed. The continued assertions from my friends that it’s not that bad have me willing to pop in the DVD, should one of them provide it.
Apparently when I say I will inevitably go watch a movie, I mean I’m just going to sit at home and play Minecraft instead. I still don’t know why, after having gone to see the other three on their opening weekends, that I just totally skipped this one. Maybe it was that nagging feeling that it’s not worth getting excited about. Actually it was definitely that. I bought it, though. No, I didn’t mistype that. I bought this and it’s on its way to my house even though I haven’t watched it, because that’s how much I enjoy watching Captain Jack Sparrow. Shut up.
I was excited to watch Green Lantern (yet another comic character I’m not interested in) for one reason only: The chance to ogle Ryan Reynolds. As I tend to do, I waited until my guinea pigs -I mean friends- paid good money to see this before I made my final decision. I changed my mind after I heard nothing about this movie except that it was awful, and to this day I still don’t want to see it.
I never did get around to seeing Part One, so I still haven’t finished out the Harry Potter series. I’m sure I’ll remedy that soon, if the slightly-threatening insistence of my new friend who has them all on her computer is to be believed. We’re going to watch a marathon of them. All of them. *twitch*
I’m still waiting for this to come out on DVD, because I’d love to see it. Not just riding on the coattails of my nostalgia, The Muppets is supposed to be more than just pretty good. This is the movie I was happiest to hear did better than I expected.
So What Did I See?
Drew wrote a glowing review of Captain America so eloquently in support the character and the film that I…still didn’t go watch it but instead didn’t put up a fight when my friends played it on Thanksgiving. If that’s not commitment to the opinions of my respected peers, I don’t know what is. No, really. What is it?
I enjoyed Captain America, but I still don’t take him seriously as a character. I suppose that makes me a terrible person, a failure as a comic book fan and a patriot, but I can live with that. I mean, there are plenty of other beloved characters that I don’t take seriously, either…
Aha. I’ve figured it out. Captain American and Thor (especially Thor) are characters that I thought for sure would make terrible movies, but I understand why this is working now: Hollywood basically has a dagger at its throat to make these not suck, because Avengers, baby! That’s the only explanation I can come up for it, anyway, because Hollywood throwing out movie after movie based on what’s popular at the moment is generally nothing but a major disaster and yet here we are with a freaking THOR movie that wasn’t bad. What little problems I have with the film stem from the silliness of the comic, so I can’t blame it for that.
And here is my biggest disappointment of the year. Absolutely not because it was a bad movie. On the contrary, Pegg and Frost are still great together, Seth Rogen did a good job voicing Paul, and there were plenty of references to past sci-fi media that made me grin (the Flight of the Navigator one was my favorite). But…*sigh*. Instead of just focusing on the hilarity of two obsessed sci-fi nerds running across and helping an actual alien, we get shackled with the old “Christians are idiots” ball and chain. You know, because that never gets old. For two men who have done such incredibly unique things with their films and TV show (Spaced rules, watch it now or I will hurt you), this was inexcusable. Every single thing about the way they handled that aspect of the movie was extremely nasty and mean-spirited which, as a fan of their previous work, is a shocking change in tone. They really alienated me (sorry) with this one, to the point that I don’t care to ever watch it again.
Amazing, described with three words: Actors, backstory, relationships. Everything else about this movie impressed me as well, but those three things had me floored. I didn’t even give this one the dignity of a thoughtful review, instead just making fun of the fact that it was yet another X-Men movie. I take all of that back, because First Class is fantastic. Not fantastic for a comic film, not fantastic for a prequel. Just fantastic.
Crow has never tasted this delicious.