“I’ve got all five senses and I slept last night, that puts me six up on the lot of you.” The Scoop: 2005 R, directed by Rian Johnson and starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Haas, and Emilie de Ravin Tagline: A detective story. Summary Capsule: The murder of his ex-girlfriend sends wordy detective Brendan into the [...]

“You want to get nuts? Come on! Let’s get nuts!” The Scoop: 1989 PG-13, directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson and Kim Basinger Summary Capsule: A man dressed as a bat fights an artistic maniac dressed as a clown, while everyone involved broods.

“You were just beating to death your pirate boyfriend. I know, I saw!” The Scoop: 2006 PG-13, directed by E.R. Nelson and starring Kirby Heyborne, Trenton James and Larry Bagby Tagline: Pirate talk so salty, you won’t believe your buccaneers! Summary Capsule: 20-somethings become sucked into the piratey life… in Utah.  UTAH, people!

“Joygasm!” The Scoop: 1995 PG-13, directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey and Nicole Kidman Tagline: Courage now, truth always… Summary Capsule: A new generation of Batman is not necessarily a better generation of Batman, as the pointy-eared one fights the Riddler and Two-Face and his dignity.

“Are you so foolish as to believe that you can oppose the will of Fu Manchu?” The Scoop: 1965, Not Rated, directed by Don Sharp and starring Christopher Lee, Nigel Green, Walter Rilla, Joachim Fuchsberger, Tsai Chin, Howard Marion-Crawford, and Karen Dor. Tagline: Obey Fu Manchu or every living thing will die! Summary Capsule: Fu [...]

“What are you getting at? I’m proportionate!” The Scoop: 2010 PG-13, directed by Ridley Scott and starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett and Max Von Sydow Tagline:  The untold story behind the legend. Summary Capsule: Every grey-tinged grim and gritty battlefield epic of the past 20 years is regurgitated, with extra feral children.

“Ice to see you!” The Scoop: 1997 PG-13, directed by Joel Schumacher and starring George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman Tagline: Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty. On June 20, it ALL comes together. Summary Capsule: Very possibly the worst superhero flick of all time comes about as Batman gets funky.

As any jaded consumer knows, if there’s something that the kids like these days, it will be used to sell anything under the sun, including movies.  That’s how in the 90′s we ended up with a slew of films that, good or bad, just had to cram rap into them to try to be relevant. [...]

“You’re just jealous because I’m a real freak and you have to wear a mask.” The Scoop: 1992 PG-13, directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito and Michelle Pfeiffer Tagline: The Bat, the Cat, the Penguin Summary Capsule: Batman, uh, returns to fight evil, but finds the evil comes in green-goo-drooling form [...]

“Eventually, we’ll have children with you.” The Scoop: 1958 NR, directed by Gene Fowler Jr. and starring Gloria Talbott and Tom Tryon. Tagline: Shuddery things from beyond the stars, here to breed with human women! Summary Capsule: A year after marrying, Marge is wondering why her and Bill cannot have children. Or why since their [...]